Distractions
Fast Fiction #3
Okay, work day is done, exercise complete, shower checked off, time for a sit, time to be still.
What about the dishes?
They’ll still be there, and so will making dinner, we’ve done this before.
What about writing the thank you cards?
Those will be there too, that’s a Saturday morning to do.
What about that email, that one email you forgot?
Oof, right, I said Friday. I’m already sitting here, and the hour glass is already turned
Inhale into my abdomen, exhale out of -
Is your back straight enough?
My back is fine… Inhaling energy up from the root, exhaling down the spine.
Inhaling -
Do you remember that open tab on the housing market?
Later. I don’t need to think about that now. Inhaling through my -
- it was really scary, house poor isn’t better than -
Later. Feel the air entering my nostrils, the stomach relaxing as -
- what if the interest rates don’t - will there be a raise?
Later! Why can’t I do this right now?
Do rhe dishes instead. You could think about that Zillow page while you do them.
Inhale… God, that hour glass has hardly changed.
It’s cold in here, I’m cold.
Exhale… Should I get a sweater, turn on the heater?
I’m uncomfortable in this position.
Just breathe. This is part of this; you are just rusty; just out of practice.
You never ate any protein after working out..
Breathe, it’s okay, it’s just for a bit, nothing is wrong,
You are supposed to eat protein right after working out!
I give up! Breathing alone isn’t going to work today,
Go get a snack, I’m hungry and sore from sitting here
What about trying visualization?
Visualize yourself eating a quesadilla.
Visualize the trail, eyes closed, focus on the images and sensations.
The stairs lead upwards, slate, dark, damp and vertical. I know this place, If I focus I can feel the stones under my palms, fingertips; the cold entering my body through bare feet.
I have to focus in order to stay on these slippery stairs, the way I did climbing Machu Picchu. Man, I really scared my classmates that day, I -
The stairs lead upwards, into clouds, the world diminishes beneath me, beneath the first layer of fog as I climb, the only sound left to hear is the wind pushing clouds against stones.
It does kind of sound like - Man, listen to all those cars, there must be a lot of freeway traffic.
The steps are more like a ladder than a staircase now, my finger tips and arms imagine bracing my weight, the cold biting at my skin and burning my nostrils, nearly to the top of the mountain. One step, another, inhale, and exhale, inhale -
Another siren?
What? The hour glass still has barely moved!?
Why am I so distracted today?
I’ve been trying to tell you, but you won’t listen to me.
I won’t listen to what?
…
Oh, now you’ll be quiet?
…
Tell me, or just… how can I make it better?
I’m scared.
What are you scared of? We’ve been up this mountain before, we’ve sat with the breath, we-
Not helping…
Are you afraid of me?
Well, that isn’t the point, but yeah, sometimes. You get mad, or disappointed, or…
I just- that’s shocking- you know me, I just want to protect us.
Ha, yeah, I know you, but I’m protecting us too.
By being afraid?
Yeah, sure, worse way of putting it. I’m trying to show you what you don’t want to see.
Oh?
I’m afraid of how to provide, how to ever afford to settle.
Oh…
I’m afraid of not being enough.
I make you feel that way too?
You do.
I’m sorry, you’re valid, what you’re feeling is valid. But it’ll be okay, we’re in this together.
Promise?
Where would I possibly go?
Inhale into the abdomen, exhale the fear of the unknown
Inhale energy up from the root, exhale energy down the spine
Inhale filling the whole body with awareness, exhale -
Just peak at the hourglass
Thank god, time is up-
What was that about quesadilla visualization?
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