Alone, Together

Flash Fiction #1

The look in your eyes was enough to grab my missing attention; enough that I didn’t need to see the smile that existed under your fabric mask. I don’t know if I was attractive because I was unavailable, or If I was attracted, because you were. We brought our fears and resentments to work, and we reacted to the world becoming alone, together. We were in the same cohort, and we made eyes across a socially distanced room.

We let an idea become larger than our realities. Like dancing without music, all of our moves were second guessed. The hug would last too long, the trial balloons would be shot down, but drawings and notes would still appear; so many, that they would be found under furniture many months later. We would invite each other, and we would find reasons to bail; we were dancing with the idea, alone, together. We were like separated protagonists in a Disney movie, that happened to see each other every day.

The invasive seed you planted when you said, “it means something is missing,” took over the garden I worked to grow; the only garden I needed. It stopped producing fruit, because I stopped caring for it. Wasn’t that the same for you? Was it worth paving over what was, only to become alone, together?

The two times we met unattended were both by the river. You filmed B roll of me for national television, and weeks later we burnt an effigy at dusk. We were afraid of what we needed; too afraid to know what that was. I became the catalyst for whatever was happening to you. The consent to fill that role slipped through my fingers, and left stains on my life I’m still trying to wash out.

A friend told me you were broken, years after I put the pieces of my derailed life back in a row. What went wrong in my head was partly a byproduct, of what was going wrong in yours. I think I understand how you hurt now.

You couldn’t be with yourself.

Sign I made for work (circa 2020 - Peak Covid)

This is the first Fast Fiction writing is to accompany the longer and more content rich full posts on Inner Magic. To ensure you don’t miss content like this, and to best support an aspiring author, please consider subscribing